If love is a battlefield, why have I gained 11 pounds? And other unanswered questions of today’s post-apocalyptic 20-something emotionally wounded war heroes     Now that we’ve covered that, let’s address the giant elephant hiding in your yoga pants: you got dumped. It happens. You did your best. I know how hard it was […]

When you’re in love, and the person you’re in love with makes significant negative changes in his or her life, and then you end your relationship, are you mourning the relationship or the extinction of the person you were in love with?

To those of you without your thumbs in your asses, and maybe some of you with them, (do what you have to do, I won’t tell your coach) you might have noticed a small wild-fire of controversy surrounding yours truly. Sadly, it isn’t the kind we like, it’s that really fucking douchey kind of controversy. […]

This is going to be a deliciously rhetoric’d rant on the female’s natural tendency to play, hate, ball and shotcall. So, I’m sorry “men”, I’m going to have to ask you to sit this one out. Ladies, (And I use that term loosely) (Just a guess) I ask but two things of you: 1) stop […]

Well, at precisely 2:48 on this aesthetically depressing Kansas afternoon, I find myself staring at this fucking laptop wondering why witty things just don’t say themselves (I mean, honestly, how witty are you), and hoping that last night’s Rumplemintz will stop molesting my esophagus. With that being said, I’m in a super offensive mood, and […]