I was going to open this post with one of my favorite blurts from my pal, Ernest (Hemingway). But I feel like my minions and the genuinely curious souls that find themselves frequenting this site don’t need to be reminded with just how highly I think of my intellectual status. So, how about that Patriots […]Read More Diary of A Mad Black Masochist
If love is a battlefield, why have I gained 11 pounds? And other unanswered questions of today’s post-apocalyptic 20-something emotionally wounded war heroes Now that we’ve covered that, let’s address the giant elephant hiding in your yoga pants: you got dumped. It happens. You did your best. I know how hard it was […]Read More Me so fat: me need male approval for everything
When you’re in love, and the person you’re in love with makes significant negative changes in his or her life, and then you end your relationship, are you mourning the relationship or the extinction of the person you were in love with?Read More In all seriousness
To those of you without your thumbs in your asses, and maybe some of you with them, (do what you have to do, I won’t tell your coach) you might have noticed a small wild-fire of controversy surrounding yours truly. Sadly, it isn’t the kind we like, it’s that really fucking douchey kind of controversy. […]Read More To those of you who said I’ve gone soft: why don’t you spit out that throat lozenge?
This is going to be a deliciously rhetoric’d rant on the female’s natural tendency to play, hate, ball and shotcall. So, I’m sorry “men”, I’m going to have to ask you to sit this one out. Ladies, (And I use that term loosely) (Just a guess) I ask but two things of you: 1) stop […]Read More Gilman’s guide to hitting the ‘Ignore’ button on cunts
Well, at precisely 2:48 on this aesthetically depressing Kansas afternoon, I find myself staring at this fucking laptop wondering why witty things just don’t say themselves (I mean, honestly, how witty are you), and hoping that last night’s Rumplemintz will stop molesting my esophagus. With that being said, I’m in a super offensive mood, and […]Read More Sometimes I like to lay in the bathtub, and pretend to be New Orleans.